After My Feet Touched the Sky: Part One

Like a child swinging higher,
ever higher,
my goal was just
to
touch
the
sky.

Head tilted back to get the fullness of SonShine
on my face,
eyes closed to experience the whizzing whir of air
as it came rushing past,
mind focused only on reaching that treasured goal.

Even when my toes pressed past the clouds
and my heels bumped against the sky,
I didn't think
of what would come next.

And next, I tumbled back.

sliding backwards

past the very things I had only just rejoiced at leaving behind

falling in reverse

to a start that taunted, certainly not welcoming, certainly not a trip wanted

I tumbled, and I tumbled, and I tumbled.

My eyes opened.

My heart pounded.

My joy turned to sorrow, my dancing into mourning, my peace into chaos.

My hope into despair.

Back and back, I slid toward start, and then on past, to the place where I had once built momentum for a great and glorious climb up, a place not meant for failure but for the buildup to success.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't--wouldn't!!--start the up, up, UP again
only to fall back so far without any control

or choice.

So the very feet that had only moments ago touched the sky
dug in
and STOPPED all motion.

If I can't stay in the clouds,

I can't....I won't...do anything.

So I sat.
And I cried.
And I mourned the moment after
my feet touched the sky.

It was a very long moment...